Blank Dates

The blank dates on the calendar disturb me. Initially. Then I consider the reality. The blank date means I did not do what I promised. The desire for a daily checkmark is to learn a new skill, or to improve my well-being. I’m well aware the checkmarks and notification of successful days in a row are behavior modification methods. I promise to learn a new language, to meditate every day, to walk every evening. I use an app to help me with accountability. The blank dates indicate I lost the routine. I was not consistent.

I look at the blank date and wonder if the constant reminders are helpful or harmful. Yes, I appreciate the reminders. Yet, I’ve also experienced technological reminders that verge on the side of predatory. I am left wondering if I have lost the ability to be self-accountable.

Let me back up a little.

I am someone who thrives when doing what I want to do. As for being forced to do something, well, I tend to voice my displeasure, which is more like resistance. Of course there are things that need to get done, like cleaning the bathroom. The displeasure is easily countered by having a clean environment. Some tasks, like doing taxes, require a specific reward when completed. Self-bribery works. That brings me back to automatic reminders and calendar checkmarks.

In this technological world, a device tracks my learning progress. The progress is based on quantity, not quality. I can engage the app and then do something else. I can experience satisfaction by looking at the number of days I used the app while still not improving my Spanish conversation skills.

The empty space has alternative meanings. I just haven’t recorded all that I do. I choose to pivot, to give attention to someone or something who needed support, compassion, or advocacy.

Let me expand a little. Ok, let me expand a lot.

I live in the USA. I am witnessing a political situation where accountability has vanished like a ghost. The reminders to respect the legal system are not predatory; the reminders for democracy are contained in the Constitution. No app holds politicians responsible. Citizens hold politicians accountable. I want to live in a country where politicians protect the principles of our government, but that is not happening. Elected politicians are not holding the Trump/MAGA administration to the Supreme Court orders by refusing to correct the wrongful kidnapping and imprisonment of Abrigo Garcia. Funds have been approved for AmeriCorps teams, yet the AmeriCorps program has been discontinued without politicians remaining true to their decision to support the work and spirit of National Service. Congress has disregarded its oversight responsibility over the EPA and has not actively ensured that the agency maintains its mission to protect human health and the environment. The lack of accountability is more than a blank date on a calendar, it’s the destruction of the USA’s reputation and position as a world power.

I’m not someone who likes to contact my elected representatives daily, but, like cleaning the bathroom, it’s necessary to have a clean environment. I’m not keeping track of how many calls I’ve made or the specific daily issue. I’m sure there are blank days. I don’t need automatic reminders to continue to express my thoughts and concerns. I make the calls because it is my right and responsibility.